bye

http://whitemagnolias.xanga.com

4 years of this xanga, and all of the many many writings here over these years, and I guess maybe its time to move on. dont bother relinking though, because I might actually change my mind and switch back to writing here in the end haha.

this is what they call baggage

dear god, please dont do this to me please dont do this to me please )-:

All you need is love.

(family portraits, funny self-timer shots)

Caroling @ NUH with the Scream girls yesterday truly taught me what it meant that it is indeed more blessed to give than to recieve, and how we ought to truly count our blessings (-: Even though singing to all the manymany wards was super tiring (no more stamina after not being in choir for 2 years haha) and by the time we finished dinner at Holland v, I came home and slept at 9 because I was so super exhausted, I was truly glad that the day was very meaningfully spent blessing others and being blessed in return(: I feel like such a homemaker these past few days hahaha baking cookies, and going over to help Uncle Kayin to prepare our Christmas lunch with yi tmrw. Cooking okay!! It was really very funny yesterday at the hospital when the nurse asked which one of you is prof loke's niece, and I raised my hand and when she said out his name grace had this super shocked look on her face and she told me later he was her doctor! hehe so funny, and it never occured to her before that we were related when we have the same surname heh. (-:

I really do hope our cell mission trip will actually happen next year, and actually being as close to the Saltshakers after one whole year (seeing you all in a few days!) has really motivated me to believe that you really can stay as close to some people if everyone makes an effort, and because I honestly hate drifiting apart from people.. I really do think its very sad how at one point of your life someone can mean so much to you, and you've been through so much together but when change sets in, one year later its like we-barely-knew-each-other anymore. If there's anything I've learnt these years, its that the only thing constant in life is change.. but I've never been an adaptable person at that. sigh. sometimes I dont know if I'm the only one who misses our friendship or is it just pride or fear or insecurity or..apathy. I wish life will just stop robbing me of the people I love. I want you to know that I actually still do pray for you, and I'll continue praying for strength and a way out because I know He cares for me, as he does for you.

Today in the evening,I realised that when I so readily agreed to my shift on the 26th I'll not only be missing deb and nichee's baptism, I'll be missing the CM outgoing lunch too (and I still reminded everyone about it) :( ah very clever charlene.

I don't know why, nobody told you, how to unfold your love.

Somewhere out there, beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me, and loving me tonight.
Somewhere out there, someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there.

have been rushing around madly from place to place these past few weeks, going for rhema services, staying at grace's, rushing to work, braving the crowds to get christmas presents (still not done yet who's brave enough to go to orchard with me!! ): ) and staying up everyday to pack my room (yes I still have notes all over the place!! frustrating.) and writing christmas cards if not they wont be posted out in time.. Sigh. i'm just a slight bit tired from all the rush and sometimes maybe because I know i do this deliberately just to wear myself out, which makes it all the more tiring. to think for a split second I honestly, really believed Christmas might actually be bearable this year. but I'm glad for the past few days going for rhema with Ser and grace, getting to catch up after the whole loong year, supper with the cell, staying up to watch movies with Grace (i have a new source to borrow dvds hahahaha) and ohmy, did I mention Grace and I braved through one FULL episode of korean drama with serene!! this deserves a round of applause, I managed to stay awake through one full episode this time haha. so anyway, I have decided to bake for Christmas this year again (partially because I am trying my best to avoid orchard for the next one week as far as possible) and if I love you enough I'll give you some lavender cookies (-: I only bake for people I love ok and im baking cookies for my lovely lovely scream girls :)

sigh I really am gonna miss all the girls next year, it felt so real at rhema that the year was really over when I thought back how last rhema I just found out I was gonna mentor scream & I had all these apprehensions cos the cell was so superduper huge and it was just a pure mg cell now rather than the sc/mg cell last time when I was still in it... but the girls were all so sweet & they kept coming up to say hi and introducing themselves during rhema and suddenly now one year later when the cell has all grown so close and we've become one-big-happy-family, its time for everyone to go their own seperate ways again )-:  but anyway I really do hope caroling @ NUH on Monday will be fun our cell's gonna have our own Very Meaningful Christmas! k I should be going to sleep now cos I got to wake up early tmr to go to IKEA with Suzy to get more Christmas stuff &&& then there's more baking stuff that I have to buy and alot.alot.alot of Christmas cards to write for the cell girls before regional party on Sunday and there's christmas party tomorrow night too yayz. OH and hi friends I really kind of lost track where/ when everyone is travelling and when you'll be back so please let me know okay so I will know when to pass you your christmas gifts? :) and Lauren Cheung i just realised ill probably see you next year only haha. seriously STOP travelling havent even seen you since papers ended HAHA. alright I'll try to write here more consistently it actually makes me reflect on my week and I actually did have alot of things I wanted to write about but I kind of forgot and very tired also haha. maybe I'll post pictures next time if I'm not lazy (-:

Currently Let's Get Out of This Country By Camera Obscura see related

My feet are hurting so much from my blisters its not even funny, I dont know how I'm going to go out tomorrow night anymore. Maybe I should just wear my brother's disgusting crocs to go meet suzy tomorrow morning hahaha or by the time I come back my feet will be in bandages already. Nowadays when I go out I cant decide if I should just bring a whole box of plasters with me or plaster all my toes first at the expense of looking like an idiot. Life after a's is so funny I have eyebags now instead (ironically) cos i stay up so late everynight (cant even sleep before 4) and then I just wake up late the next day rush out of the house, come back go online again. this is a vicioussss cycle, I should cultivate good habits like suzy and start sleeping earlier before 12, before my body clock is permanently screwed up. I think my mum is getting annoyed with me also that i just come home everyday to sleep only so i dont even know how I'm going to tell her im not even coming home to sleep tomorrow night hahaha. but this week has been great (other than the weather and the rain) spending time with grace and serene, exploring all the new malls in orchard (i feel like a tourist in singapore now), watching new moon (trying very hard not to laugh at all the inappropriate moments thinking of all the spoofs on youtube hahaha), having lunch with the cell today, talking with joannie and catching up with everyone after very,very long.    I could kind of get used to this constant form of distraction. I cant wait to get a job, cant wait to learn driving, cant wait to see suzy tmr and watch our 3D show hahahah we are such kids, and steamboat and sleepover on friday!! Looking forward to sitting at starbucks the whole afternoon with suzy tmr and watching greys (no suzy I refuse to do my uni applications). I like how we all live with no strings attached now, it makes me feel as light as a feather.